Where is your wrapper?

SPEECH GIVEN AT THE 2019 ARISE WOMEN’S CONFERENCE IN LAGOS.

There is something that happens in market places across African towns and villages. Every now and then, a woman goes into labour right there in the market. Sometimes it might be too late to get her to the nearest clinic or hospital. Immediately, the women in the market know what to do. Someone takes charge and starts to make the woman comfortable. The others run around to look for hot water, a mat, towels, razor blades. And then they all bring out wrappers and form a protective shield around her while she has her baby. What do these wrappers signify?

• Protection
• Solidarity
• Sisterhood
• Empathy
• Unity
• Duty

I was in Uganda once when this happened with a woman in one of the markets. The women around all brought out wrappers. It happens here in Nigeria. An unspoken protocol emerges amongst the women to take care of one of their own who needs them. She is in pain. Afraid. Uncertain. But she has sisters around her, rooting for her and helping her.  So, I ask us my dear sisters, Where is your wrapper? Where is your wrapper to shield and protect other women and girls who need you? Where was your wrapper for the little girl who was molested by someone in your household and you said ‘Shhhhh’ and looked the other way?  Where was your wrapper when someone you know said she was raped by someone she trusted? Or did you ask her what she was wearing? Or if she seduced him? Where was your wrapper when your friend needed succour from an abusive husband? Or did you gossip behind her back that it served her right, she is too arrogant? Where was your wrapper when your sister or daughter told you that her lecturers were harassing her in the University? Did you tell them that they must have done something to encourage them?

Our wrappers might all look different, different sizes, shapes and colours, but each and everyone of us here has a wrapper. Bring that wrapper out to shield a sister. Use it to help get her a contract, help with her rent, pay her children’s fees, help her with capital for a business or simply a discreet shoulder to cry on. Never let a day go by without bringing out that wrapper. The way God works is that the more wrappers you bring out for others, the more will come out for you. We don’t only need these wrappers when we celebrate and buy Aso Ebi. We need the wrappers for our trials and tribulations and we all have them.

The women in the market place might never see the woman they have helped again. She might never be able to say thank you. Yet she will never forget that other women stood by her and gave her dignity and covered her nakedness. Are we prepared to cover the nakedness of others, or do we want to be part of the mob that strips them naked? These days there seems to be a war against women. Not only is sexual violence at an all time high, these crimes are now committed in full view of the public. A young woman is accused of stealing and stripped naked, hands all over her and objects being stuck into her. When this happens, what do we do, will we look the other way? When a woman is being harassed online, do we join in the abuse? Where are our wrappers? The more wrappers we bring out, the safer we will all be. There is another conversation to be had with the men, with our male leaders, with those who have the powers and privileges that weaken our agency and divide us. Today, we are talking to and about ourselves.

Let us all agree to bring out our beautiful, strong, diverse wrappers. Our wrappers of respect, love, dignity, support and endless hope. God bless us all.